Saturday, September 11, 2010

anniversaries of a farm girl's heart....

this morning dawned bright and beautiful through my farm house windows...
and yet it was filled with a familiar chill,
an ache and longing and thankfully, a comforting promise.
outside, the air is scented with a curious mix of mint, garlic and autumn...
and deep yellow leaves are beginning to show high up in the poplars.
Looking up at them, I'm always struck with how sights and sounds and
scent will bring back a day as clear and bright as if it were
yesterday...
It is the scent and sound of yellow leaves gently falling and hitting the earth.
running barefoot through deep green wet grass,
the scent of juniper wood smoke and apples hanging from an old tree...
crossing over
a ditch with clear water running fast,
singing and dancing underfoot
as if it never heard anything else that was happening
but it's laughter.
I cradle this anniversary of my heart and hold it close...
the unfathomable loss of a loved one on a day just like this...
On days like these I can still see and hear and smell each event of that day as it unfolded.
And somehow I am grateful for them. For he will never be forgotten as long as I can remember with scents and sights and colors of all the happy days before
that chilly sunshine filled autumn morning.
~~~
another anniversary of my heart this day, is that of our country's heart...
For farmers and ranchers here, the flag flying at your gate post or atop the combine, bale wagon,
barn or tractor is an everyday celebration.
not just brought out and hung up for
a special occasions such as 4th of July or Memorial Day or Flag Day...
You'll Always find it proudly hanging here...
~~
Not long after those terrible events took place in New York and Pennsylvania that chilly sunshine filled autumn morning
I happened to look up out my kitchen window while washing dishes to
see my Mt. Jefferson. Somehow just seeing him there each morning gives me solace
and peace to begin my day...
and I saw
this...
~on the left of the picture is a hay barn with the American Flag on it's side~
and my Mt. Jefferson watching over us all.
Our American Flag. Someone had made it of corrugated metal,
painted red, white and blue,
Someone, we still don't know who, and not the rancher who owns the barn,
put it up over night on the side of a huge hay barn
across our valley for all to see...the sight of it then clutched at our hearts and still does.
~~~
I hope you can see it there, on the left. If you were here you could see that it's very large...
and this morning as the sun came up and shone on this rancher's hay barn
it was filled with remembering, an ache
and a longing and somehow,
Thankfully,
a comforting promise...

12 comments:

Storybook Woods said...

Beautiful post and well said xoxox Clarice

walkerhomestead said...

Just beautiful Christine... beautiful!

Christine Crocker said...

Thank you both, dear Clarice and dear Kris, for such lovely comments here today...
I appreciate you both so much.

I hope your day has been a beautiful one. It surely has been just gorgeous here.

The sun has just gone down covering everything in kind of a thin golden pink light...a quail family is making it's way up into the old incense cedar here by the house...lots of clattering and twittering going on...and the kittens are mesmerized looking up at them.
bless you both,
Christe'

QUAINT AND PLAIN said...

I CAN INDEED SEE THE FLAG HANGING ON THE BARNSIDE...THERE IS TRULY NO MORE BEAUTIFUL SIGHT TO BEHOLD THAN OUR U.S. FLAG IN ANY FORM.. YOUR STORY OF FARMLAND AND FARMERS WITH FIELDS PLANTED WITH MINT AND GARLIC GO HAND IN HAND WITH THOUGHTS OF OUR BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AMERICA AND OUR WONDERFUL FLAG... WE AS AMERICANS ARE SO VERY BLESSED.. THANK YOU CHRISTINE...XX ~ B

Christine Crocker said...

Thank you dear Barbara,

I'm so glad that you can see it. Thank you,too, for such a lovely comment. Being a farmer myself, I've always felt the same as you.

I'm looking out at the hay barn right now with the sun gone down behind Mt Jefferson...what a beautiful sihouette it is...there's new bales of hay being stacked inside the hay barn tonight. Dust is flying up over head from it and the owls have started to call to one another...all is well...

katiebird said...

i love you mom.

Tina Eudora said...

What beautiful words Christine and your view does indeed stir the heart!
Tina xo

Christine Crocker said...

I love you, my katie bird.

Christine Crocker said...

thank you dear Tina,
I really appreciate it so much.

The sun is just coming up and lighting up the hay barn this morning like 4th of July~
a beautiful Sunday morning here.
C.

Tracy said...

Funny thing about loss...at the time we think our hearts can not recover. How can time continue when our worlds have just shattered?! But clocks keep ticking, the sun rises and sets and our hearts, while never healed manage to love and feel joy. I'm sorry for your deep loss. And mine. But I'm so thankful for the multitude of blessings that have come since!!!

Hidden Pond Farm said...

Oh Dear Christine thank you so for the stunning picture you just painted on my heart x <3 x
Love and Light I send to you my friend who I mustttt hug someday xxx

Christine Crocker said...

and the same to you, dear Cindy...I look forwrd to it..
Have a beautiful day.
xo,C